Most of my past life was dominated by what St. Paul said in 1 Timothy 6: 7-10— Those who want to be rich fall into many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge them into ruin and destruction.

With my wealthier friends, it took years of spiritual growth to develop enough self-confidence not to be hung up on how I compared with them financially. I was never willing to accept myself as God created me, but was always living in conflict with the person I thought I wanted to be.  It was a living death of continually falling into all that is in the world... sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious life as said in 1 John 2:16.

Even when I retired from corporate life and was financially comfortable, that wealth and success bug still loomed. Never totally satisfied, I set up shop as a financial writer with pipedreams of getting on the cover of Forbes magazine.

My beloved and ever-supporting wife Carol would often say to me, “Stop killing yourself. We’re fine with money and don’t need any more.” But I would always rationalize my self-centered work habits by saying, “we need to sock away just a little more for nursing home care down the road, the grandkids are also going to need more for college, and what if we have unexpected health issues later on?” But it was all just a cover-up for my true motivation to become financially equal with the big boys.  

Back then, Satan in his subtle ways was always making sure I was going gaga over those who either had or appeared to have more than I did. And it took me years to mature through this stage and finally begin to view people from their hearts instead of their haystack, and to look down the ladder with thanks more often than up the ladder with envy.

Many of my years were wasted at the expense of my family in my dreamland of financial wealth and success. Those missed opportunities to live the moment with my loved ones instead of reading all those “get rich” books and rationalizing how good all this money was going to be for “my family.” Yeah, right.

Those lost moments had more value than any amount of money could have ever matched. And though I can’t go back, I can with absolute certainty, live today without those destructive preoccupations stealing away any more precious time from whatever years God has chosen to let me still have.

I finally began, with the help of God’s amazing grace, to believe that I was created as someone special and fully equal to all other men on this earth no matter how much money, possessions or power they had. And the deeper these beliefs penetrated my soul, the more I began to build the spiritual foundation needed to conquer that deadly Jones Mania disease inside myself.

My Turnaround

But these transformations didn't happen overnight. It took a squandering of fifteen precious retirement years chasing the ol’ carrot of wealth and success to finally hit me over the head with a two-by-four.

One morning, I was sitting at my “work desk” counting all my blessings — great health, a loving and supportive lifetime wife since college, a wonderful son and daughter-in-law who’ve given us three incredible grandsons,  a beautiful home, a decent retirement income, zero debt and a fabulous church community with the dearest of brothers and sisters whom I’ve fallen in love with.

And as I pondered all of God’s massively generous gifts to me, I said to myself,   “How dare you not be satisfied with all the many gifts God has blessed you with! How foolish and disgraceful you are for wanting more! You're an idiot for admiring the Joneses! You ARE the Joneses, buddy!” 

So If You've Been in My Boat . . .

If you've ever had feelings of envy, uneasiness or inferiority to those with more money, just know that with a little asking, God can help you pull out of it and feel genuinely equal to others no matter how much they have (or seem to have).

For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish?  (Luke 11:10-11)